Surviving dystopia

It’s been such a long time since I’ve blogged, I feel like I should ask forgiveness. The truth is it has only been in the last week or so I’ve felt like writing. It’s writing orthodoxy that you need to write daily, or at least regularly, to get anywhere and normally I happily subscribe to that view but I have simply not had it in me.

But now here I am, breaking in my writing space in my new house. Hooray!

I’ve learned a great deal about energy this year. It is exhausting being unwell, and its not just your body that gets fatigued, your brain does too. The emotional meltdowns always come when you’re worn out: just like kids. While I was still having chemo, I learned to choose: exert myself physically OR mentally (or socially). Trying to do more than one inevitably made me sick one way or another. It wasn’t just the chemo though: I have to have more surgery and I wasn’t happy with the surgical plan I was offered. I won’t go into detail here, but that put a huge amount of stress on me, on top of mundane stresses like a house move and sorting out life admin and money. I mostly held it together, with the help of counselling and meditation and exercise and a patient partner and supportive family and friends but even with all that, my word it felt like work. Practical mindfulness: don’t think about anything, just keep focused on the task in front of you.

And then there’s the question of what to write. I follow current affairs in impotent horror. What is there to say about that? I’ve been stumped: it feels like it’s all already been said but nothing’s changing. So, what can we do?

Here are some things I’ve learned that you can do right away, without spending any money:

Tiny ways to make things better

I’m pleased to report that despite the slump, I have managed to submit my novel to a a couple of short stories to some competitions. So far the responses have either been rejections, or no replies, but getting the work out there is all part of the game. If I ever get a positive response, you’ll hear about it here!